first time back

I texted one of my soccer girls this morning, 

checking on an appointment I knew she had coming up. 

Turns out the appointment was this afternoon.

And she was a little nervous.

I asked if she wanted me to go with her.

It was for a series of MRIs like Ruth had,

ordered by the same doctor that diagnosed Ruth a few years ago, 

so I knew exactly where we were going at Cabell Hospital.

No big deal.

As were heading East on 64 she asked if I knew where KDMC is.

Suddenly it became a big deal.

I swallowed hard before answering yes. 

I started praying.

And texted two friends to pray.

She had no clue what was racing through my mind.

I didn't want her to know.

I didn't want her to regret saying yes to my offer.

I did not want to regret offering.

The last time I was at KDMC was when I walked in with Bill.

As we approached the patient registration area,

I prayed and kept telling myself to breath deep.

I sat down and had to move because I had sat in that seat before.

I was ready to tell her that if she came out and I was gone 

I had walked over to the park to read and enjoy the afternoon.

Within minutes of our arrival a nurse came to get her.

I almost hugged that nurse when she said, 

"You can come with us, there is a separate waiting area."

I still didn't say anything to my girl.

There was no need to, I'd maintained my composure.

It didn't really hit me hard, hard

until we were sitting in the car, after the MRI's were done,

and I was sitting in the passenger seat once again, 

as someone else was driving away.

The tears started rolling down my face.

Tonight I am thankful I didn't know which hospital she was going to.

I think I needed to be with her.

I think I needed to know I could walk into that hospital

and not fall completely apart.

Tonight I am thankful for prayer support that enabled me to be there.

God is good.

All the time.

All the time,

God is good.

When He calls us to minister,

when He shows us opportunites to join Him in loving,

He is faithful to provide all that we need to follow through.