The Road of Grief

I have been travelling this road for quite awhile now.

Sometimes I am so weary I think I will not be able to go one more step, let alone the extra mile should someone ask.

Sometimes I see that what lies ahead is like an ugly accident unfolding before me in slow motion and there is nothing I can do to stop it from happening. While I am not always directly involved, I am sometimes strongly affected. At those times I find myself hurting, weeping and sometimes bleeding alongside those whose lives have been wrecked.

Sometimes the way is clear, the day is beautiful and without incident. These days are days of easy praise.

This last week has been a mixture of both.

Last Sunday I smiled and celebrated as some of the teens from our church led all aspects of our Sunday morning corporate worship time. These kids are full of life and they love the Lord deeply. God was honored in their singing , in their praying and in their preaching.

Friday night a dear family said goodbye to their young teen aged son who has been battling leukemia for last ten months.
Saturday one of the women who works with our optometrist said an unexpected goodbye to her healthy fifteen year old son because of a four wheeler accident.
Now each of these families is travelling an unfamiliar road- one that is hard.
Both of the boys loved the Lord. So do their families. They do not grieve as those who have no hope, but they do grieve.

I find that my heart is bruised and my eyes drip as I pray for these families. I think about the road that lies before them. I have been walking this road with a dear friend and I know that the way is not easy.

I pray that these families cling to the Lord and that they sense His presence and His comfort.

I pray that well meaning people do not insult them by saying "I know just how you feel"- for this is a unique road- one that is different even for each member of the hurting family.

I also pray that those who "don't know what to say" will remain quiet and not try to fill the silence, even if it is uncomfortable, with well meaning but empty and useless and sometimes hurtful wordage.

What a difference a week makes.

This Sunday night I sit here in front of my computer, typing something no one else may ever read- but I find that I must write it, for it will not stay quietly inside of me. I do not know what my journey will include tomorrow- but I do know my traveling companion and I trust that He will do what is best for me. And in that, I find my rest.