memories

Funny thing about memories...sometimes it takes something physical to jog them out of the recesses of my mind.

This afternoon I returned the boxes that survived the original purge to the attic.

At about 9:30 tonight I climbed the ladder to finish organizing the last set of boxes I had returned to their resting place and since it was relatively cool I couldn't resist pulling two of the six remaining boxes that need sifted to the center of the room. I opened the lid of the first one and smiled. It was full of cards and papers/pictures from my family and friends. I was not surprised to open the second one and find more of the same, only older- including the receipts from our wedding and the crib we bought for our first baby before we found out there were two of them :) When you have been married almost 33 years and have 6 children it isn't hard to get a large collection of "stuff".

As I went through the cards I found a set that was nested. The top one said "Congratulations on Your New Baby". I quickly opened it to see which child it was celebrating and was confused because the second card said "Sorry for your loss." It took me a minute to realize that this was a very special group of cards- it was the set that celebrated the conception of our last child and mourned our loss when the pregnancy ended. I had forgotten how many people rejoiced with us when we found out we were expecting and how many more grieved with us when I miscarried.

I cried then and I am crying now. I am also thanking God for creating a new memory that reassures me that the baby we never got to hold was real and other people loved it too. I needed that today. It reminds me that God sees our hidden hurts, He cares and He is able to comfort us. Sometimes that is hard for me to remember.

I am praying that God takes a hurt in your life and creates a good memory for you too.