vulnerable

Definition of vulnerable (thank you Webster's)

1. 1:  capable of being physically or emotionally wounded
2. 2:  open to attack or damage 
3. sometimes I ache to simply be held, 
4. to have a hand to hold
5. to be wrapped up in a safe bear hug
6. this past week or so I have been keenly aware of that ache again
7. but where does a widow go to have those needs met?
8. 
   
9. this morning as I journaled I addressed that issue
10. "Please, Father, set a guard over my heart. I am vulnerable. I ache to be held. Not sexually-just wrapped up in a hug and held. So I come running as fast as I can to You and ask you to satisfy that hunger-may I not limit You to what is physical. I choose to continue to trust that You will provide what I need, not necessarily what I (think) I want-but exactly what I need. I love You and I love being Yours."
11. 
    
12. I finished my quiet time and began my work day
13. I was busy with laundry and cleaning and planning
14. I received a text that we had a recruit make a surprise visit
15. result: an unscheduled practice that I wasn't sure I had time for
16. I had more cleaning I wanted to accomplish,
17. I have new furniture coming tomorrow morning
18. but I know being present is more important
19. so I went
20. I was late, but I showed up
21. and received the answer to my morning's heart cry 
22. 
    
23. a hand on my shoulder from one of the guys during practice
24. and I heard God whisper;
25. "I am listening"
26. a brief, sweaty hug from another when they were done
27. "you keep trusting Me, I'll continue to meet your needs."
28. 
    
29. tonight the ache is gone