scared to do it, more scared not to

I was afraid.
Not terrified, but more than a little concerned.
Heart racing, stomach churning afraid as I pushed "post" yesterday.
I knew what could happen.
But I also knew God had been nudging me. 
That is why I wrote a post last week  "listen for the beating heart".
I thought it would be enough.

Silly me.

The nudges-
well the nudges began to get stronger, more like pushes.
Yesterday I knew, without a doubt, it was time to share part of my story.
So I sat down with my computer and wrote.
In about an hour I had completed one of my longest posts.
Less time than I spend writing most of the them.
Another confirmation, I was supposed to share.

But I was still scared. 
I knew there could very well be negative push back.
Unkind comments made.
Assumptions made.
Opinions might change-
not because I was imagining the worst,
but because I have heard the comments that have been made.

So why did I "take the chance"?

Because I was more afraid to not post than I was to post.

I have been walking with the Lord long enough to know that when I get a certain feeling He is calling me to step out in obedience, by faith. To do something I normally would not even consider. I have lived with regret over not obeying Him and I have experienced the pure relief that comes from trusting Him and doing what He has led me to do, regardless of the possible "consequences" that fill my mind to distract and discourage me. 

I encourage you, if you are a Christ follower, to take time and think about what your story of faith is. Briefly, if you need guidance on how to do that, answer the following questions: When did you figure out you needed Jesus? Did something specific happen? What was life like before? How has your life changed since you began walking with Him? What struggles has He seen you through? Think about how to put all of those answers together in a reasonable train of thought. And then pray for opportunities to share it with others. Believers will be encouraged and those who don't know Jesus may be challenged to take a look at life with Jesus as a choice they want to make.

I am overwhelmed by the affirming comments that have been left on my FB page after my last post; Abortion, making it personal. I am humbled by the number of times the post has been shared. I am thankful that though I was scared, I trusted God to provide the strength I needed to not only write about and share one of my darkest secrets, but to live with the consequences of being transparent, regardless of what they might be. Any praise, any glory, anything positive that comes from any of my writings, especially yesterdays and ones like that, all the credit for anything good should go to God.