Happy Anniversary to me

August 6, 1977 

44 years ago today,

I said "I do"

and life as I knew it changed,

and I began a life I never imagined could be

1980 we added twin daughters to the Bill and Donnette Bondurant family

1983 we had another daughter

1987 brought our first son

1989 we welcomed our second son

1992 brought our baby girl

2014 we celebrated our last wedding anniversary together

37 years

for a few years I was in a state of limbo

we were supposed to be married at least fifty years

there were people who probably doubted we'd make it fifty days

without my husband, what did I do with August 6?

it was still the anniversary of the day I was married

it was still a day definitely worthy of celebrating

but I didn't know what to do with all of the feelings 

confusion

thankfulness

sorrow

love

anger

wistfulness

wishing

sadness 

I finally came to the following realization:  

this date has no easy answers

so I allow myself to acknowledge and feel "it" all,

whatever "it" happens to be

because I never know what "It" will be

I will not allow the loss to consume me

to steal the joy of what is

so today,

August 6, 2021

I celebrate the day I married William Scott Bondurant

I thank God for the children and grandchildren that are part of that union

I thank God for the life I have now because of the life we chose then

and this year I get to do it with some of my kids and grandkids with me

we had Moriah's picnic

and Sarah brought me my favorite flowers