"hey, little lady..."

"Hey..."

It took a moment to process that the male voice coming from behind was talking to me. 

When I arrived at the lake and drove to my favorite spot at the end of the road, there was an empty white pickup parked in the lot and an older gentleman sitting in his minivan, idling in the handicapped spot. I noticed the logo on the side of the pick up truck and determined it would be safe for me to sit by myself, soaking up the sun and trying to process what life is right now. I'd stopped at McDonalds for a treat and had my current read with me so I was set for a couple of hours.

The man from the pickup was there with his pup, Storm. I know the dog's name, not because we talked, but because Storm headed my way and his owner called him back. They didn't stay long. I was busy reading, heard the truck start and looked up to watch it leave.

A few minutes later I heard two male voices in the lot. I was a little confused. It should have been just me and minivan guy. A loud, not heated, just loud, everyday, eastern KY. , good ole boys conversation ensued. I heard a vehicle leave. 

"Hey, little lady" 

That had to be directed at me. I was the only one left at this end of the park. 

"Hey little lady, do you want some company?"

Um, was he flirting?

Was that his pickup line?

I turned, "No thank you."

"I'm sorry, I can't hear you" he said as he opened his door-

"NO, I'M GOOD" 

He closed his door and began to pull away.

I lied.

I wasn't good.

I did want company.

I just didn't want his company.

I stood, gathered my things and walked toward my car. I didn't feel threatened in any way, but I was wishing he hadn't spoken to me. I was hoping he would think I was leaving, though my intent was to go back to the bench once he was gone. I was wishing I still felt comfortable sitting on the bench by myself. But the truth is, my serenity had been shattered. My mind began to race with "what if"s". When he stopped at the bathrooms it raced even faster. I got in my car. 

I wasn't really ready to head home so I pulled into the parking lot closest to the entrance. It's where I'd take the kids to play when they were little. I knew I'd find benches there too. I noticed what I thought was a new gazebo. 

I walked up the slight incline to get a closer look. Judging by its condition it was built at the same time as "mine" in the area I'd just come from. The one I have run to since Bill died when I need to get away and think. 

Same lake, but different. The ranger station is behind me, just across the road. This area isn't isolated, it isn't the "end of the road". This is where Bill liked to take have his picture taken with the kids in the fall. You can see the main road from this vantage point, and obviously, a different part of the lake. This gazebo had it's swing, the other one is missing. I sat there for over an hour, allowing the sun and fresh air to do their soothing, healing work. I felt safe. It was a good change for today.

Maybe for the future too. 

"Hey little lady" made me uncomfortable. It forced me to move from my comfort zone. It also opened my eyes to a fresh option, a new perspective, a different place to run. Thank you red pick up guy.