Active Waiting

Active waiting is one way to describe my life.

Active: adjective

1.

engaged in action; characterized by energetic work, participation,etc.; busy:

2.

being in a state of existence, progress, or motion:

3.

involving physical effort and action                                                                  

1. Daily I am engaged in actions-

                 some times I am energetic, 

                 some days I feel like a sloth.

            I try to participate in the lives of others

                 but sometimes it is more than I can think 

                 about, 

                 let alone actually do

            I am busy, 

                 even when I am still-

                 I am working hard to remain focused on    

                 healing 

2. Sometimes I feel like existing- 

                 this continuing to draw breath 

                 and have my heart beat-

                 is victory!

    Other days I feel like I am making discernible 

                 progress that others can see

    So far I think I am always in motion-

                 sometimes I move slower than a snail, 

                 but I am still moving.

3. Grief and healing take physical effort-

    they require action on my part.

    Choices are required everyday, all day long.

Some days my mind returns to my healing journey after my car accident. Recovering from a fractured sternum, fractured wrist and fractured ankle took awhile. 

A fractured heart will not heal quickly. 

I must be patient with myself-I must recognize and acknowledge the pain-I must listen to my body and not push too hard. I must allow myself time to heal and allow others to do what I cannot do for myself right now.

Waiting

noun

1.

a period of waiting; pause, interval, or delay.

I am waiting

        waiting for God to complete His work in me

        waiting to see my Saviors face

        waiting to hear my Saviors voice

        waiting to go home 

        waiting for the "after...a little while"

        "And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you."

(I Peter 5:10)

While I wait,

I want to be active

each day that I am given here.

I want to be found walking in obedience, 

by faith,

one step at a time.

 

Some times those steps are hesitant baby steps, 

I toddle and fall-

I am thankful for those who pick me up, 

brush me off and say-"try again".

Some times I am able to walk more confidently.

Regardless, I am thankful for each step

and for the people God has brought into my life 

to walk alongside me, 

encouraging me and 

holding me up-

in prayer, 

and on occasion, literally.