New Year's Eve 2014

2014 ends in 85 minutes.

I have been consciously dreading this midnight for a week.

For the first time in 38 years I am facing a new year single.

So far every "big day" I have faced without Bill has been just that-
one day of the year. 

Tonight is different.

Tonight is a celebration of a new year.

It is the gateway for all of the years to come without Bill.



I have family I share DNA with. 

I have family through the blood of Christ.

I am thankful for this family God has blessed me with.

I do not face the future alone,

along with God, my family will always make sure of that.

But my life was knit together with Bill's.

And I miss living life with him.


New Years Eve is a time to reflect on the past.

June 2012 (aka "the summer from hell") was the culmination of hormonal upheaval. Menopause broke me emotionally and mentally.

March 2013 a driver did not stop at a traffic light and I ended up with a fractured sternum, wrist and ankle. I was broken physically.

August 29, 2014 Bill went home. I am broken in yet a different way.

In all of this I have grown to know God more intimately and I sing




New Years Eve is a time to look forward.

I sing with confidence