mental snapshots
They sneak up and catch me off guard.
Mental snapshots.
I am thankful for them.
Yet I am torn by them.
Today's picture has been Bill sitting at the foot of the stairs Christmas morning.
He has the Bible on his lap and is reading the Christmas story.
The stairway is lined with our children (and grandchildren as they were added).
(I couldn't find a picture of our family, but this camp picture is a good representation of the idea).
Until last year when we finally decided there really were too many
to sit there safely, as had been argued the year before,
so it was grandchildren only on the stairs.
Now I am trying to figure out how to continue that tradition
because I do not want to let go of it.
Oldest male present read?
Oldest son?
Oldest grandchild?
Me?
The lump in my throat just thinking about it is enough to choke me.
There is also the question of what to do with two other Christmas traditions that we have yet to face.
"White Christmas"
and
"It's a Wonderful Life"
Christmas, with Bill, just wasn't Christmas without them.
I want to watch them,
it is almost as if I need to watch them,
yet I have an aversion as well.
Christmas without Bill is going to be very different.
Figuring out the balance of what to keep
and what to change
and what to simply skip for this year is difficult.
Yet we will continue this dance of mingling old with new,
and we will make it because Christmas isn't about us.
Christmas isn't about traditions
or movies
or Bill reading the Christmas story.
Christmas is about the One the Christmas story is about-
it is the celebration of God's gift to man-Jesus.
And whether we have a white Christmas or not, knowing Jesus makes this a wonderful life.
Mental snapshots.
I am thankful for them.
Yet I am torn by them.
Today's picture has been Bill sitting at the foot of the stairs Christmas morning.
He has the Bible on his lap and is reading the Christmas story.
The stairway is lined with our children (and grandchildren as they were added).
(I couldn't find a picture of our family, but this camp picture is a good representation of the idea).
to sit there safely, as had been argued the year before,
so it was grandchildren only on the stairs.
Now I am trying to figure out how to continue that tradition
because I do not want to let go of it.
Oldest male present read?
Oldest son?
Oldest grandchild?
Me?
The lump in my throat just thinking about it is enough to choke me.
There is also the question of what to do with two other Christmas traditions that we have yet to face.
"White Christmas"
and
"It's a Wonderful Life"
Christmas, with Bill, just wasn't Christmas without them.
I want to watch them,
it is almost as if I need to watch them,
yet I have an aversion as well.
Christmas without Bill is going to be very different.
Figuring out the balance of what to keep
and what to change
and what to simply skip for this year is difficult.
Yet we will continue this dance of mingling old with new,
and we will make it because Christmas isn't about us.
Christmas isn't about traditions
or movies
or Bill reading the Christmas story.
Christmas is about the One the Christmas story is about-
it is the celebration of God's gift to man-Jesus.
And whether we have a white Christmas or not, knowing Jesus makes this a wonderful life.
Oh Lord, we know that Christmas is not about traditions, yet as humans we have made them, as they in some way, help us to focus more on your birth. This time of year with traditions of things passed, it is so hard for the many who have lost a loved one. One so dear and near to their hearts as Bill was to Donette. So Lord, I simply ask You to wrap Your loving arms around Donette, Be with Donette as she makes these hard to her heart decisions. Speak to her Lord as only You can, show her Lord as only You can, comfort her Lord as only you can. And in all these decisions, may You be glorified
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