snowflakes, snowstorms and life

So many thoughts rattle in my head.

Sometimes it is hard to put them into words.

I start, I stop, I cut, I paste, I backspace, I delete, I begin again.

Tonight's ramblings are partially sparked by yesterday's snowstorm.

Snowflakes-

unique

beautiful

shunned by some

welcomed by others

individually, not much of problem

accumulations alter life, take time and effort to "dig out" from.

My life, my grief, is unique.

Not because there are no other widows,

but because I am unique.

Bill was unique.

Our relationship was unique.

My life is beautiful.

Not because there is no ugliness,

but because I know who I am.

I know whose I am.

There is beauty in being God's Beloved child.

There are things in my life I shun-

"what if's",

negative thoughts,

discouraging people,

the lure to dwell in the past.

There are things in my life I welcome-

increased intimacy with God,

increased dependence upon God,

increased assurance that God has a plan,

increased trust that God is at work in and through my life.

I experience individual moments of

fear,

pain,

grief,

anger,

worry, 

sorrow,

anxiety, 

concern, 

confusion,

frustration,

temptation,

wayward thoughts.

My goal is to run to God with each one as soon as I recognize it.

Doing so allows me to see and appreciate the beauty in my life.

Doing so keeps me aware that I am safe and protected in Him.

Doing so saves me from unnecessary accumulations to dig out from.