meaningless

meaningless

times I was "forced" to learn something I didn't want to learn

hurtful words along the way

bad choices I have made 

the hours Bill worked and I was alone, frustrated

loss of two unborn babies

hours spent on the soccer sidelines

Bill's death

meaningless: 

only if I allow it be

those things I didn't want to learn:
made me mentally stronger
gave me skills that I am using to solve problems today

the hurtful words: 
taught me the power of spoken words 
taught me to forgive

the bad choices:
taught me to receive forgiveness,
to be compassionate, 
to not judge
to make better choices

the hours Bill worked:
drove me to an intimate, healthy relationship with God 
cured my unhealthy dependence upon Bill

the loss of those babies: 
gives me empathy for parents longing for a child   
made me value more the gift of life

the sideline hours:
gives me time to enjoy being outside
has given me grounds for rich relationships

Bill's going home: 
has deepened my intimacy with God
has deepened my awareness of God's provision
has given me boldness in speaking Spiritual truth
has given me a greater sense of urgency in sharing eternal things
has opened my eyes to the importance of community living

Nothing in this life is meaningless 
if we trust God
if we exercise our faith 
if we believe God is at work
if we practice walking in obedience 

We get good at what we practice-

"Jesus answered them, 

“Truly, truly, I say to you, 

everyone who practices sin is a slave to sin."

John 8:34

"His (God's) divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us to His own glory and excellence, by which He has granted to us His precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire. For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For whoever lacks these qualities is so nearsighted that he is blind, having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins. Therefore, brothers, be all the more diligent to confirm your calling and election, 

for if you practice these qualities you will never fall."

2 Peter 1:3-10

Thank you Bre and Brittany for the *song.

There is some good stuff here.

*So far I have not felt that God has ruined nor slain me,

I have, instead felt Him carrying me and holding me up.

I know that might change, 

and I know grief feels different for everyone, 

thus, I share the complete song.