well that came out of nowhere... 246/366

Our Prayer in the City gatherings came "out of nowhere".  The idea didn't originate with me, especially to lead/facilitate something like this, and given my choice, I definitely would never have picked August and the first week of September for it. 

But God...
He pulled all the scattered thoughts and pieces together and made something beautiful.

It has been a wonderful experience, with at least 41 families represented over the course of four weeks. Joining believers from various churches for a responsive reading from Psalm 136, a prayer of thanksgiving, singing Amazing Grace, reading Romans 12:9-21 out loud together, guided prayer and closing prayer has had a positive impact in my life and in our community. Rain was forecast at least 3 of the weeks, but it never rained a drop. It's been amazing to watch the whole thing unfold and blossom.

This afternoon, beginning about 3 o'clock, the devil tried to steal the sweetness of tonight, the 4th of our 4 gatherings from me. A little before 6 I was ready to text a friend and tell him he'd need to lead tonight because I wasn't going to be able to make it. 

Why? 

Out of nowhere flashbacks to six years ago began to fill and not leave my mind. Calling hours was Sept. 2 from 6-9pm and we buried Bill on Wednesday morning. And the feelings of disbelief that I was a widow, the pain of seeing my sweet husbands face for the last time, picturing my children, Marilyn and other family and friends saying goodbye and grieving just wouldn't stop shouting at me, trying to smother me. 

I fought back the only way I know how. 

I texted faithful prayer warriors, completely vulnerable and honest about the battle that was raging inside of me. God answered their prayers. I had an ugly cry for about ten minutes, wiped my eyes and blew my nose, ate a snack, because a meal was out of the question if I didn't want to lose my cookies, and when 6:30 came I took my chair and booklets to the park so I would be ready to welcome others as they arrived. 

I'm so glad I asked for prayer.
I'm so glad I have people I can call on to cover me, to carry me.
I'm so glad I have a God who sees, hears, cares and provides.
I'm so glad I walked across the street.
I would have missed a huge blessing if I'd stayed home.
Tonight was wonderful. 
If you'd told me at 5:59 I'd be able to say that, I'd have doubted you.

But God...
He pulled all the scattered thoughts and pieces together and made something beautiful.