growing up is hard to do

I sat today watching Xavier and Mia, thinking about my other grandchildren
it is amazing how many ways I identify with them
(15, ages 3 months to 15 1/2 years, provide ample opportunities) 
I have "been there, done that" through each one of these stages
but in many ways feel like I am in the midst of a do-over

• teenagers trying to learn what this adult-ing thing entails that people are gung-ho about-and why they are so excited about adulthood, because I am there and it isn't all it is cracked up to be
• pre-teens struggling to figure out where they fit especially when there is a drastic change in your life
• children eager to explore but sometimes frightened or intimidated by new things or situations, other times willing to "go for it" because they don't know any better
• those who are young children and for whom play is work it takes an incredible amount of energy to learn to play. Especially if we are expected to play nice.
• those who are toddlers and refuse help (I can do it myself) or have difficulty communicating clearly, sometimes knowing they want something different, but they aren't sure what it is why can't someone just read my mind and fix it when I can't find the right words, or the words I speak are intelligible 
• those who are infants wanting nothing more than to be fed, cuddled, kept safe and dry, not having to be concerned about anything crying when they need to, without apology, not feeling the need to hide it

how else do I identify?

sometimes I am selfish

sometimes I don't want to be alone

sometimes I crave solitude

sometimes I am reluctant to ask for help 

sometimes I don't play well with others

sometimes I need a time out

sometimes I unintentionally make a mess of things

sometimes I intentionally make a mess of things

sometimes I overestimate my abilities

sometimes I undervalue what I can do

sometimes I don't realize I am being taken advantage of

sometimes I don't see what others see in me, good and bad

sometimes I don't recognize how far I have come

we want to be 

seen 

heard

accepted 

cherished 

taken care of

appreciated for who we are, not what we can do 

we do not want to be 

ignored

neglected

patronized

simply tolerated

told what we think

expected to be someone we are not

until you break our trust: 

we are eager to help you 

             fumbling though it may be

we take you at your word 

             not seeing a need to question your motives

we love you

             lavishly 

             without reserve 

             arms wide open

we laugh from deep inside

             often at the smallest things 

             sometimes without knowing why 

             and always with you, not at you

I have a sneaking suspicion I am not alone...