I can do that...just not today

it is a quiet Friday at home
the Davies family is visiting with the Andrew Bondurant family
it is a little weird to be home alone for a weekend

though Bill has been gone for almost eighteen months
I have had family living with me as they have been in transition
first Sarah and her family, now Ruth and her family 

this will be $350
after I mail it in
and it is processed
whoo hooo!

my plan for today:
change the sheets
do laundry
fill out the appliance rebate
make returns to Potter's
mail the car title to Beth
eat dinner at KCU
read for pure pleasure
maybe watch a movie(s) to pass time
message a friend a maintenance 
question
do some troubleshooting for an ongoing 
issue 

title has been ready all week
why is it so hard
to get it in an envelope
and in the mail

I sorted the laundry and started the first load 
coffee and two hard boiled eggs for breakfast
checked Hotmail and Facebook,
messaged the maintenance question 
and received instructions 
easy peasy, add to the troubleshooting list
I printed off a new rebate form to fill out 
since I scribbled notes on the original
I went into the laundry room to switch the first load
started the dryer and thought

oh no!
it isn't supposed to sound like that

before calling a repair man I checked behind the dryer-
thankfully I recognized the problem

the offender

the flexible exhaust hose had slipped
I pushed the dryer out a bit 
squeezed the wire clasp 
slid the hose over the vent pipe
wiggled it into position 
it didn't go on properly
it usually doesn't the first try
I took a deep breath and tried again
and again
and again
frustration set in 

tears started
not today, why can't this be easy today?
as I wrestled the hose a few more minutes I kept thinking
I can do this, I have done this countless times before
as it registered in my brain that plastic hangers were digging into my side 
because I didn't take down the tension rod holding them before I began
I sat on the floor, 
arms wrapped around my knees,
rocking and bawling
thinking,

"I can't do this." 
I can't do this today. 
Why isn't this working?
But I have to do this today.
I can't leave wet laundry to sour."

I took a deep breath.
I prayed.
And I tried again.
it took several attempts, 
praying through tears all the while,
but the hose is once again connected 
and the dryer is running properly

as I left the laundry room and thought about the rest of my plans 
I realized that there is nothing on that list that I cannot do,
but there are several things on that list I will not be doing

sometimes you have to be honest
with yourself and others
"I can do that...just not today"

these returns will definitely wait for another day

I am thankful stormy moments are just that,
only passing moments
I am thankful I am learning to be as kind to myself
as I tend to be toward others
now it is time to do something stress free and fun