waylaid

Sometimes I get waylaid.
Like yesterday morning when I drifted back to sleep and had this dream:
I was chasing a toddler down a corridor
I looked up and Bill was in front of me,
he stooped down to catch and hug the toddler 
and I walked quickly toward him,
knowing he would not be there when I got close,
but hoping he would be.
When I was close enough to see over the person between us
he was gone,
a mere slip of a girl stood where he had been.
I turned my face to the wall, textured like shingles.
I could feel their roughness on my face, 
and I wept.
And I woke up with tears streaming down my face.

Last night I got waylaid again.
My sleeping leaves a lot to be desired.
I am trying to cultivate a healthier pattern.
But when you are hesitant to lay down
because often your mind wakes up as soon as your head hits the pillow
or you are afraid of dreams that may come
you sit up and read
or mindlessly scroll Facebook
or spend an excessive amount of time playing Words with Friends.

This morning I got waylaid yet again.
It started with the arthritis in my body reminding me of its power.
Last night the lowest barometric power of the season moved into our area.
After chapel I intended to go clean our church,
as I do every week.
It used to be my "slush" money-
for fun stuff, trips, etc. 
Now it is set aside for insurance and taxes.
I needed to replenish supplies so I made a trip to KMart first.
The cashier looked familiar, but I couldn't place why.
She asked; 
"How are you and your family?"
I politely replied;
"We are doing okay."
It turns out she worked in the school my children attended 
and her son played little league on one of the teams Bill coached.
She shared a memory of how Bill took care of her boy after an injury.
He was not a small young man 
and Bill put him in a wheel barrow to get him off the field.
She asked about my kids.
I smiled, thanked her for sharing a memory
And walked to the car with weighted steps and a heart conflicted.

I sit here in my warm, comfortable house this afternoon thankful.
Xavier and Mia are upstairs napping.
Kyle is busy with ministry stuff at KCU.
Ruth is on the other couch relaxing in her down time.

Part of me wants to hibernate,
to avoid any chance of being waylaid,
but I know there is no "safe place" to hide away,
because my mind takes me places on its own.

Part of me is intent on facing life head on,
knowing there is so much living to do,
because I serve an active God,
one with an eternal plan He allows me to join Him in.

All of me is thankful 
for a God who allows me to run to Him,
and thankful for family and friends 
who wrap me in love, support and prayer.