the day the Walmart greeter made me cry

the littlest things can cause the greatest pain

I was moving wood the other day and got a splinter.
I thought I had pulled all of it out right after I got it.
Until a few hours later when my finger was sore.
Beth performed surgery and removed what remained.
It was a painful process,
but I knew it had to be done.
Left to fester, things could get ugly.
A few years ago I did not take care of a splinter
and ended up in the hospital because of a red streak.

That lady greeting at Walmart this afternoon is probably a very nice lady.
But today she almost made me cry.
She did not speak to me.
Her not greeting me is not what caused the tears to pool though.
For some reason
when I walked into the store today
I was transported back to discussions Bill and I had about his retirement.

the littlest things can cause the greatest pain

He always said he would like to be a Walmart greeter.
I always said good,
because you will need something to do
so we don't drive each other crazy.
He would have been a good one.

I was able to keep it together,
make my return,
find the Fluidmaster I needed to repair the toilet,
get a new VHS/DVD player
and pick up a few other items.

As I shopped, my limbs kept getting heavier and heavier.

By the time I got home,
unloaded the car
put stuff away
and replaced the guts in the toilet
it was almost 6 PM.

the littlest things can cause the greatest pain

This is a time that slaps me in the face on occasion.
Tonight it caused a flashback
It is the time of evening I had my last conversation with Bill.
I don't always think about when the clock strikes 6,
but this has been one of "those" days.

Today's events called for a supper full of comfort food.

A bowl of Progresso pot roast soup,

Ritz crackers with hazelnut spread,

mandarin oranges

and a second cup of French Vanilla coffee.

With extra French Vanilla Creamer.

I may regret the coffee later when it is time to sleep.

I finished my meal,
but not my coffee
before the ugly cry began.

Like the splinter I asked Beth to remove the other day,
even though it caused me pain as she did so,
I had to allow myself to mourn,
painful as it is,
so ugliness would not fester and cause bigger issues.

I have learned
that the littlest things can cause the greatest pain
I have also learned
that ignoring the little things
does not make them go away
they have to be addressed, taken care of 
or they may cause bigger, life threatening issues

my life philosophy includes a new mantra:
 cry when you need to
laugh when you can

I am looking forward to some laughter this evening.
I will be scrolling FB,
there is always something on there to make me laugh.