test time

God definitely has a sense of humor...

Ruth and I collaborated, resulting in a Bible Study at my home Wednesday evenings. We are studying James. I am sure we thought we were doing the choosing and I am equally confident God was looking down smiling, maybe shaking His head because He knew what was coming and when it would arrive.

Just a quick recap of our study:
We have covered the first 18 verses in chapter 1. "Consider it pure joy when you face trials of many kinds...let perseverance finish it's work that you may be mature and complete... Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial...God does not tempt anyone...". We will finish chapter 1 next week. 

James 1:19-27 includes the following directions: "My dear brothers and sisters...Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does produce the righteous life that God desires...Do not merely listen to the word...Do what it says..."
I shared that anger used to be a huge struggle for me and how God used these and other verses (and the work of the Holy Spirit) to tame my natural inclination. My challenge was to continue to read one chapter a day. Also write down verses that help you deal with anger, etc. 

Then came Thursday. With Thursday came a situation that caught me off guard. I do not think well on my feet when I feel ambushed. Something I said was misunderstood or misrepresented. My character, my intent, my integrity was questioned by someone I thought knew me. I got defensive, even though there was no cause to be defensive. Despite the fact I have studied and memorized James 1:19&20  in my disappointment and confusion I got it backward-I found myself quick to anger (pain and feeling betrayed contributed) and slow to listen, (I was stunned and began to wonder at the words I was hearing rather than listen), quick to speak (I was chomping at the bit to defend myself and may have interrupted the person taking to me).

I have spent a lot of time in prayer and study the last two days. Convicted of the need to continue to pray and seek God's face. Asking Him to cleanse, rebuke, teach and correct me. To work in me so that my thoughts, attitude and words will be ones that honor and accurately reflect Him. Praying for wisdom and discernment. For courage and boldness. For kindness and strength. For God to search and know my heart, to purify it so no root of bitterness can grow from seeds of misunderstanding. That I will be who I need to be, regardless of what others choose to do. 

I want to be a thermostat, not a thermometer.

"Everyone should be quick to listen

slow to speak

and slow to become angry,

because human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.

Do not merely listen to the word, 

and so deceive yourself. 

Do what it says."

James 1:19,20,22