self care

my to do list is getting shorter as the contractor finishes the big stuff
so I can do the little things and clean up here at the house
some days I am gungho, full of energy to tackle niggling details
and other days it seems to take all I have in me to simply roll out of bed
and I know that most days it is a mixture of both 

it is late morning and I am waiting for the energy to kick in 
it was running high Tuesday 
yesterday was good,
an errand day of returning things I thought I might need and didn't
today I feel like a rechargeable battery on it's last leg

I am trying hard to  practice the truth that it's okay to simply rest
but, when there are still a hundred small things to do, 
it is hard to rest fully because my mind races, 
knowing if I could muster up a little gumption I could tackle several jobs
self care can be a struggle to implement 

sitting here stewing over what I don't have the energy (or desire) to do 
is not helpful in any way, shape or form
now all I have to do is concentrate and decide:
what HAS to be done today, what can wait
and go with my decisions

I have a few  things I need to leave the house to do,
but I see some necessary back porch swing time, 
book in hand, coffee close at hand,
maybe even a nap
in my mid afternoon plans