leaving a legacy to leave a legacy

I have been in Ohio since June 4th

tonight I am beat as I look back over the last two months

so many thoughts 

so many memories

so much stuff to sift through mentally
reconnecting with family members 
not having enough time to visit all of them 

hearing names of family members I never knew

finding out some people I thought were family weren't

realizing the brokenness in my family tree is greater than I imagined

seeing graves of my grandmother's children-twin baby boys and a little girl

getting pictures of great grandparents I had never seen

recalling times spent with my dad's extended family

losing my aunt Judy, the only one of my dad's sisters I knew, leaves a hole

wishing some things had been different

knowing if they had been I would not be who I am today

bits and pieces of life as a child coming together

while other things float, taunting, just out of reach

uncovering skeletons 
what is real?

what is imagined?

what is factual? 

what is exaggerated?

wondering about things that were alluded to but never really discussed

knowing I will never know the full truth

seeing things from different people's perspectives

wondering why I didn't ask more questions as an adult

thankful for newly met family and insights they have 

grasping for any information that will give me a more complete picture

knowing that the past affects the present and can touch the future

the way it was is never an excuse for things to continue,
however, it can give insight to choices and behaviors

sometimes you have to leave behind a legacy,

the one handed down to you,

in order to create and pass on a legacy worth holding onto

tonight I am thankful for the life I have because of Christ

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. 

The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. 

All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to Himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; 

that is, Christ God was reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.

 For our sake He made Him to be sin who knew no sin, 

so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God."

2 Corinthians 5:17-21