time for change

sometimes you just need a change
today I realized/acknowledged I am in that place
so I grabbed my gift cards
and got in my freshly washed 2014 Malibu 
(Black Friday 2013 I got online and shopped at Kohl's for new towels and blankets. Bill went shopping at a car dealership and came home with a new Malibu. So unlike him, but it was fun to see his excitement and it was long overdue. Our last new car was the red Chevette he bought in March 1977. We'd had several used ones that we drove until they couldn't be driven.)
and I drove to Ashland 
to shop based more on what I wanted/liked than what I needed

I came home with 
new, black, Merrell tennis shoes
(and new, black, no show, Puma socks!)
new shorts, deep rose, not blue denim
new curtains, sheer voile, for the family room
a new garden hose holder with a reel for the backyard
new shorts, pair two, running style, but rest assured, I do not plan to run
new baby blue, thin towels and washcloths they will dry quickly at camp
craft supplies for bunks at camp in two weeks
Six Airheads. I just ate number 5. Saving the mystery flavor for tomorrow.
I have $11.67 out of $200 left

it feels good 
to be/have things different
to not feel guilty over spending that much money in one afternoon
to see the difference a few new things can make
new shorts and socks are washed, waiting to be enjoyed
new curtains are hung, I need to lower the rods tomorrow or Monday
the backyard hose is connected and wound inside of it's new container
new towels and washcloths are washed, dried and ready to pack
new sheets (paid for with other gift cards) are washed, dried and on the bed
supplies are in the fridge to make a peach smoothie for snack tonight
(I finally think they are better than ice cream)


the most valuable thing I picked up today
did not cost a cent
it cannot be bought
it cannot be gifted 
the most important thing I have from today's excursion:
Confidence
tonight I am I am not second guessing myself
tonight I am celebrating 
     the value of believing in myself
     knowing I have the ability to make wise decisions
it's a good change