fear and courage

This Gatlinburg trip was an opportunity to learn Courage.

Saying yes to the trip was the first step, 
following are some of the others:

asking girls I did not birth to buy me a box of Puffs,

verbalizing that there were more tears than I had anticipated,
acknowledging in front of everyone I was not properly prepared,

staying at the cabin while the other females went shopping,

laying down Friday afternoon while everyone else was up,

the simple act of getting back up, 
crawling from under the covers,

making the choice to go out for dinner with the group,

the many times I spent on the porch swing by myself not worrying what the others thought,

walking up and down the strip in Gatlinburg Friday night,

being part of the "Old Tyme Photo" session.

Trusting my knee to go on a short hike Saturday morning.

Asking questions about College wrestling.

Saying yes to the Apple Barn for brunch on our way home,

knowing that the only time I was there was with Bill and Deborah when she played basketball at KCU.

Being relieved we parked on the opposite side of the building.

Getting out of the car.

Walking into the restaurant.

Being thankful and not feeling guilty about it when we were led to a completely different section to be seated.

Standing up and walking away from the table when the emotions built too much pressure to be contained.

Sitting, crying in the Gazebo, knowing strangers could see me, and not letting that stop me from grieving.

Crying on Joshua.

Walking back into Apple Barn, 

ordering my grits, 

eating them,

taking a slice of honeydew melon from Emily's plate that I initially declined.

I would not classify myself as brave,
BUT
because of the battles fought and won 
at Campfire Memories

I am braver tonight than I was Thursday.

Thank you Heather, Emily, Jeremy, Joshua and Bekah.

Thank you innumerable family and friends 

who prayed for me this weekend!