seven months

 Seven months.

Sometimes 

I wonder how long it will take for this to feel real.

Other times I am all too aware of just how real it is.

Sometimes 

I am afraid I won't remember.

Other times I wish I could forget.

Sometimes

I feel like running far, far away.

Other times I don't want to leave my house.

Sometimes 

I like going down memory lane.

Other times I only want to look to the future.

Sometimes

I am so burdened for others who hurt that my heart aches with theirs.

Other times I can't see beyond my own pain.

Sometimes

I get discouraged, thinking I should be "better".

Other times I am amazed at how well I am living.

Sometimes 

I rejoice that Bill has finished his race and has received his reward.

Other times I selfishly wish we were still running together.

Seven months.