shhh...confession time

Shhh.

I have a confession.

I hesitate to share it,
but I have tried to make this blog
a work of honesty
so here I go with transparency.



I think 
there was a 24 hour period 
last week 
that I did not cry.

After six and a half months
I am not sure 
whether I should feel 
relieved or guilty.

And I am not sure 
why I think 
I have to make a choice 
about whether I am one or the other...

Is the "problem"
that I pray for healing 
and then try to tell God 
what it should look like?

I have a confession.

I feel both.