warriors

anyone who experiences deep loss 
is a wounded warrior who finds it necessary
to keep fighting despite the wounds
we may fight different things,                           
but we all fight if we are going to survive

some battles are against                        

regret

• if only I had
• if only they had
• I wish we could have
• we should have had more...

fear

• of the known
• of the unknown
• can I do this
• how do I do this without...

pain

• that overwhelms
• that ambushes
• questioning will this ever stop
• knowing the pain will never stop, change, yes, stop, no

anger/frustration

• for no reason
• at things we cannot change
• because we do not understand
• because others do not understand

weariness

• bone deep
• heart worn
• soul drooping
• mind numbing

confusion

• new responsibilities
• who do I trust
• why are "they" (the unexpected) here trying to comfort
• why aren't "they" (the ones we think should be) here to comfort

some battles are for

peace

• from the questions
• with our situation
• in the midst of, not after, the storm
• deep in our souls

joy

• in our circumstances
• in spite of our circumstance
• because good memories cannot be taken
• in our inmost being

hope

• that it will get easier
• that we will figure this out
• that our loved one will be remembered positively
• that fuels our choices

dreams

• working toward old ones that can be fulfilled
• letting go of ones that cannot
• learning how to
• allowing ourselves to have new ones

balance

• the acceptance of what is
• what was with what may be
• tears and laughter
• happiness and sadness

traditions

• sorting them
• what to hold onto
• what to release
• what to begin new

fellow warriors, those who share a bond,

wait patiently

listen

do not judge

understand that loss is life changing

don't forget that the wound is deep and will take time to heal

do not expect things to go back to "normal"

know there will be flashbacks

are willing to look at the ugliness

will do what it takes to help purge any infection that sets in

recognize the blank stare in the eyes when "it" is too much

have each other's back

accept the limp

aren't frightened away by the changes

come alongside one another to support

carry a comrade when they cannot walk

celebrate each victory with gusto,

 understanding the price paid to take each "small" step

thank you fellow warriors for loving me,

for fighting these battles with me, 

for celebrating with me

I love you

I could not do this on my own

 "A new commandment I give to you, 

that you love one another: 

just as I have loved you, 

you also are to love one another. 

By this all people will know that you are My disciples, 

if you have love for one another.”

John 13:34-35