when storms surround

to the East

to the West

actually to the North and the South as well, 

we were surrounded by dark storm clouds

as we waited for tonight's soccer game to begin

except for this one small area
can you see the streams of light?
the ones that make it seem
like God is saying
"Here.
I am here in the midst of the storms.
See Me."

It has been a long, tough, emotional stretch these last 14 days.

Two weeks ago today in chapel, on October 6, they announced that one of our students has stage four cancer.

In church that Sunday morning, October 9, I found out a dear friend's son has stage four cancer.

That night I received the phone call from Rashad's mother that he was gone.

Saturday, Oct. 15 we buried Rashad's body.

Last night, Oct. 19 the Cleveland Indians earned their way to the World Series. Bill played baseball from Little League through College. He wasn't just on the team, he was a starter. He enjoyed all things sports, but baseball was his favorite. I know he is in a place that brings him far more joy than baseball ever did. I also know how excited he would be if he was here and a big part of me would have loved to see the look of pure joy that would have been on his face last night when the last pitch was thrown, the championship won.

Tonight a friend asked me to pray-one of her son's best friends was killed in a farming accident. He leaves a wife and baby daughter.

I keep telling myself to just keep putting one foot in front of the other. 

It isn't easy. 

Sometimes I just plain don't wanna!

It is easier if I cry when I need to and I laugh when I can

so I try to do both.

I am reading through Exodus. Yesterday I read how Moses' face shone so bright after talking with God that he had to wear a veil. (Ex. 34:29-34) I asked God to work in and through me that I might shine for Him. 

This morning when I woke I just wanted to be held. 

So I prayed, "God, please, hold me. I hurt." 

Within an hour a friend sent me this text: 

Knowing I was on her heart and mind
was a blessing and a huge bear hug.
I told she was an answer to my prayers.

As long as I am living and loving storms are going to keep coming.

Clouds. Thunder. Lightning. Grey skies. Rain. Winds. Danger. Discomfort. 

I keep thinking about how the choice is mine.

I can focus on the dark clouds and storms that threaten

or I can seek the Light and be thankful for patches of blue and rainbows.