the smell of death lingers

a friend lost a son last night

it hits differently when the child, 

though an adult, 

is the same age as your boys

my heart hurts for her

for his brothers

his dad

his friends

those who loved him

with that and the rain that has fallen all day 

I decided it was a good time to make an arrangement for the top of Bill's headstone

I got out some little clippers and quickly realized I needed wire cutters

so I gently tossed them back under the sink

I finished the flowers 

and opened the cupboard to get a strainer for the soup I was making

and smelled death

where I hadn't smelled death 30 minutes ago

I looked closely and saw a mouse caught in the trap

and the scissors had pierced its side, 

releasing a very unpleasant odor

I wonder how many things in my life are dead,

hidden,

only brought to light when accidently touched or pierced...

Lord, please search me and know me. 

Reveal hidden sin. 

Illuminate ignored hurts. 

Uncover unforgiveness, malice, anger and any other disease and death causing thing in me.

Lord, do what You must in me so that the way I live and think and speak is life giving.