Daddy's Girl

me and my dad, Don Ellis June 1960

I was the firstborn of four.
I was the only female.
I was Daddy's girl.

me, June 1961

He loved me.
I was special to him.
He was my fierce protector.

me and my dad before my wedding
August 6, 1977

I wanted to please him.
I wanted more time with him.
I felt spoiled when he'd drive five hours to see me,
spend a couple of hours visiting over a cup of coffee
and then turn around and drive five hours back home.

My daddy has been gone twelve years, eight months.
And today my heart aches with missing him-
more than it has hurt over him for a long time.
He was not a perfect man by any means,
but I am so thankful he was my daddy.
The most important gift he gave me was courage to try again:
"If it doesn't work the first time, try a different way."

I put my daddy's teaching to use this evening.
I was in the house struggling to hold back tears.
It wasn't working.
So I picked up the box of Kleenex,
went outside, 
sat on the swing 
and let them flow until they were spent.

As I sat with hot tears streaming down my face, 
I remembered times I stressed over finding gifts-
the struggle of coming up with ideas and making a choice-
And today, for a while,
I selfishly wished that he was here.

I wished that I was struggling to find "the perfect gift".

For him.
For daddy Bill.
For my husband Bill.

I miss these men and their love for me. 

At the same time, I rejoice that they are in a place where they have received the perfect gift-they are with God. It doesn't get any better than that. One day I will be there too. Until that day I am sure there will be more days that I will use my daddy's teaching and hold onto my Father and practice His teachings...