It is Well; even in the midst of pain, it is well
Sometimes I feel the pain in my chest so deeply
and I feel the ache so completely
I wonder if I will be able to draw another breath.
It reminds me of my fractured sternum without pain medication.
I had gotten to a point where that happened at random moments,
not everyday, sometimes several times a day.
I do not want to say I have digressed, because I don't think I have,
but I am in a place of fresh, deep pain where I am experiencing those moments once again daily,
sometimes more than once a day.
Last night seemed darker than normal.
When the overwhelming sadness started, complete with gut wrenching tears, I realized that I was waiting for Bill to eventually come through the door.
It is auditor season.
It felt normal that he was not here at midnight, even 1 or 2 AM.
He is not coming home to me.
He is already home with God.
I once again fell on my knees beside my bed,
let the tears fall and groans escape into my mattress, praying,
thankful I do not have to know the "right words" to say because God has given me the Holy Spirit who intercedes on my behalf.
This morning at church I found myself in tears at the end of the service. I am thankful for the people who saw me, asked how I was, hugged me and told me they would be praying.
This life is way too hard to live on my own.
Is it a coincidence or maybe simply chance that when I went to Biblegateway to get the verse on prayer to post that this verse came up as the verse of the day? I think not.
and I feel the ache so completely
I wonder if I will be able to draw another breath.
It reminds me of my fractured sternum without pain medication.
I had gotten to a point where that happened at random moments,
not everyday, sometimes several times a day.
I do not want to say I have digressed, because I don't think I have,
but I am in a place of fresh, deep pain where I am experiencing those moments once again daily,
sometimes more than once a day.
Last night seemed darker than normal.
When the overwhelming sadness started, complete with gut wrenching tears, I realized that I was waiting for Bill to eventually come through the door.
It is auditor season.
It felt normal that he was not here at midnight, even 1 or 2 AM.
He is not coming home to me.
He is already home with God.
I once again fell on my knees beside my bed,
let the tears fall and groans escape into my mattress, praying,
thankful I do not have to know the "right words" to say because God has given me the Holy Spirit who intercedes on my behalf.
This morning at church I found myself in tears at the end of the service. I am thankful for the people who saw me, asked how I was, hugged me and told me they would be praying.
This life is way too hard to live on my own.
Is it a coincidence or maybe simply chance that when I went to Biblegateway to get the verse on prayer to post that this verse came up as the verse of the day? I think not.
"fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you,
I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
Isaiah 41:10
" Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness.
For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And He who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God."
Romans 8:26-27
God speaks words of comfort, truth, encouragement,
reminding me of His faithfulness in the past.
reminding me of His faithfulness in the past.
It enables me to trust Him today with no hesitation.
Because of Him I can sing with hope,
through the pain,
through the tears,
It is well with my soul.
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