especially for my KCC/KCU peeps

I am going to be brutally honest
sometimes I get weary of saying "I love you"
and it isn't you, it's me, I am selfish
let me explain-
when I say "I love you" 
I mean "I am invested in helping you grow to be who God designed you to be"
which means when it is time for you to go somewhere else

"they" say practice makes perfect 

if that is true, 

I should be flawless by now

there is a reason "they" don't say 

practice makes easy

my life is richer and more colorful 

for saying "I love you"

but I do get weary of saying "see you later"

I have to let you go
and sometimes I am not ready

For 27 years 
I have been saying "I love you" 
to KCC/KCU students and friends
who become part of my heart, 
woven into my story 
as we share life 
Sunday School class
D Group
football sons
classes 
the game of soccer
"chance" meetings 
meals
these people stay here a while, 
then move on with their lives
and I am left behind in Grayson
as it will be until God moves me

ready or not, (again, me, not you),

I want you to know that when God leads you to minister elsewhere
I will say I love you, give you my blessing, sometimes through tears,
and will be cheering you on, hoping you stay in contact,
and praying for you to continue to grow and mature in your faith

I will also be praying for myself, 

and invite you to pray for me,
that God will continue to give me courage
to be open and available to say "I love you" to someone new