boundaries

it is as if time stood still starting at 6 ish PM August 29, 2014
time, as I measured it before,
has changed
and I haven't figured out
how I measure it now

next Friday will mark 17 months without Bill in my life
as Ruth and I have talked about it this past week
we agree 
seventeen months is a long time
but there is no way he has been gone that long

as a matter of fact
I still can't wrap my mind around the truth- 
though I live with it daily-
I know he will never be part of my life again...
and yet, in many ways he will always be part of it

minutes melt into hours
hours melt into days
days melt into weeks
weeks melt into months
months melt into years

I guess that is the way,
for now at least,
I measure time
enjoying or enduring the minutes by turn,
knowing the ebb and flow will continue as long as I draw breath

 I am drawn to the ocean because
the tide comes in and goes out regularly
the waves bring change
it is always the same
and yet never the same

There are some verses in Job
that come to my mind every time I think about the ocean.
Job suffered immense loss.
He remained faithful, despite the not helpful input from his friends and wife.
At one point this is part of a conversation between Job and God:

"Then the Lord answered Job out of the whirlwind and said:
...who shut in the sea with doors
    when it burst out from the womb,...
and prescribed limits for it
    and set bars and doors,and said,
‘Thus far shall you come, and no farther,
and here shall your proud waves be stayed’?"
Job 38:1, 8-11

I believe that God still says 
"Thus far, and no farther"
and not only to the ocean waves.