living in dependence

disclaimer:
My blog is a journal. My intent when I post is never to be boastful nor prideful. I am simply amazed at some of the things happening in my life. Things I never imagined I would be able to do again, I am on my way to doing. My hope is that someone else who has or is struggling will be encouraged.

changes
little by little
so quiet has been the growth
that I did not recognize it was occurring
until I was driving to Akron this afternoon
and I realized that in spite of last minute "problems" 
problems that have sidelined me for the last several years,
I was on the road again, by myself,
and comfortable with it 

I heard whispers of encouragement that I am becoming stronger 
   mentally
   emotionally
   physically

how is this happening?
by growing in dependence of discipline
by giving myself permission to put in the time and effort required 
to exercise and to feed my needs, not necessarily my wants
this discipline and permission is new for me in these three areas

my discipline/exercise plan 
mentally
Lumosity and Sudoku
emotionally
identifying, wrestling with and resolving feelings, no ignoring or denying
physically
daily drinking more water 
daily being more conscious of what I eat
daily pushing myself to walk I am up to 4+ miles at a time!



The spiritual part of my being 
is the one area of my life I have learned to exercise consistently
daily I pray 
daily I read my Bible 
daily I work to practice what I have learned about living like Jesus
I don't always get it right
I have missed some days and do not always put in my best effort
and I know it is only because the Holy Spirit lives in and works in me
that these things have become as natural and necessary to me as breathing is

again, I say to you, this spiritual strength is not my own strength,
it is the Holy Spirit at work in me
it is not something that happened overnight, by accident or haphazardly
it has taken 39 years of discipline and consistent practice, 
countless times of deciding to do what I knew I needed to do,
of choosing trust and living in dependence on God,
of obeying Him when it didn't make sense 
or I didn't want to because I was tired, sick or feeling lazy
exercising my faith and leaning on Him is what makes me strong

long story short:
living in dependence frees me to live independent

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