"How are you?"

"How are you?"

I hurt.

I am grieving. 

I miss my husband. 

It hurts to see our kids miss him.

It hurts to see family miss him.

it hurts to see friends miss him.

I am going to be grieving for a long time.

Grieving has made me more transparent than I have ever been about "how I am".

So when you ask me "How are you?", it is offensive if you challenge my response.

There are two replies that come out of my mouth regularly;

"I am hanging in there". 

This is the short answer for " I am not currently overcome by sadness. 

It is very possible that could change instantly, and it most assuredly will change , 

but in this moment, I am stable."

"It is/has been a rough day." 

This translates to "I am overwhelmed, 

on the verge of tears or have just recovered from a crying spree." 

There is a third "answer" I have made a few times;

"It is good". Self explanatory.

Sometimes there are no words.

And I shake my head no. 

Because I know if I start to speak that the tears will strangle any words that I try to form.

No two people grieve the same way, so please do not judge my response by what your experience has been or what you think your response would be if you were in my situation.

How am I?

It is NOT offensive if you ask the question.

It is only offensive if you challenge my response.

I am grieving, 

but as I have stated in a previous post, 

I do not grieve as those who have no hope.

I know where Bill is.

I know that one day I will be there and we, along with an untold number of believers, 

will gather around the throne of God and worship the only One who is worthy of our praise.