triggers

I had a wonderful morning!

I knew what my afternoon held
and at lunch I thought,
"This may be the first day I don't cry."

Then I came home from visiting a friend and saw this:

This is the "sole survivor" of the large group of furniture Bill and I bought when we moved to Grayson. New beds, mattresses, couches, bookcases, end tables and this rocker.

It is the chair I rocked Jonathan, Andrew and Ruth in. 
It is a favorite of everyone in the family.

This was a trigger.

I sent Jonathan a text:
"My rocking chair has come apart-do you have room in your (work) van to stop and pick it up? I don't know if you can fix it or not but I am having a melt down over it and can't stand to see it broken. If you can't fix it, burn it if you look at it and think you can fix it just keep it in your garage until you have time to mess with it."

He responded quickly 
"I can get it no worries".

I went upstairs and hid in a room (a group of Mennonite men were working on the house today). I had myself an ugly cry-hoping they wouldn't hear me, yet hoping they would and that one of them would ask what was wrong and I could tell them and maybe one of them could fix it. 
NOW

I went to soccer practice angry. 
I wanted to punch or kick or throw something.
The men were on one field, the women on another 
and I paced from one to the other. 
People listened.
I got some hugs. 
Gradually I calmed down.

Jess invited me to supper-
Jonathan stopped and got the rocker, 
took care of a couple of other things
and we headed to his house.
The drive was beautiful.
We enjoyed the yummy taco's Jess made.
I got to listen to Addi make up stories.
We built towers and knocked them down.

I have had a wonderful evening.

“I called on Your name, 

O Lord, 

from the depths of the pit; 

You heard my plea, 

‘Do not close Your ear to my cry for help!’

You came near when I called on You; 

You said, 

‘Do not fear!’ "

Lamentations 3:55-57

Because of who God is and who I am in Him,

life is worth living.