Celebrating Bill's birth 203/366

2014 was the last time I remember celebrating Bill's birth day with joy
He turned 60 that year and his mom 80
Cheryl, Greg, David, Bill and our families gathered at a water park 
it was a fun family reunion
great conversations and good memories filled that weekend


2015, 2016 without Bill there didn't seem to be much reason to celebrate
2017 I got helium balloons and tied them at his headstone
2018 ?
2019 I spent in Akron with mom Bondurant
2020, 21, 22, ....

this year is different and the future will be too
it's like scales have been removed from my eyes and heart
I don't know if I've thought it was wrong to celebrate without him
or if I was so consumed by his absence that I couldn't celebrate
but this year I clearly see that being happy and celebrating his birth is a good thing

a whole strawberry cake with strawberry icing 
and a half gallon of neapolitan ice cream 
is too much for one person 
so my plan was to go to DQ and get a banana split for lunch
because if we splurged, that's what he would choose 

my plan changed when Jess contacted me this morning
it evolved into an even better celebration

she brought the kids this afternoon and Jonathan came after work 
he grilled hamburgers, we had watermelon, beans and fresh veggies for supper
we ended the evening with Moose Tracks and singing happy birthday

next year our whole family will be on vacation together on July 21
I see a big party happening at the lake house
balloons, streamers, maybe noise makers-nah, there'll be enough noise
but definitely strawberry cake with strawberry icing,
neapolitan ice cream and a Happy Birthday song

I will no longer allow sadness to steal my happiness on the date he was born
I will encourage my children and grandchildren to celebrate his day of birth
I will fill my mind with memories of our life together
and every July 21 from now on will be a reason to party
because July 21, 1954 was a good day, a very good day

Andrew just sent me this picture of Abe enjoying a banana split in honor of Grandpa Bill
I love my family
and making special memories with a person who isn't here is possible 
what an incredible and powerful thing it is to realize that!
maybe we'll do banana splits instead of cake and ice cream next year...