when big plans get changed 204/366

I had big plans for today
after breakfast and time with Jesus:
walk-yep, almost four miles in this morning!
read from each of my current three books- not so much
paint some trim and doors-nope
visit with friends who are visiting from out of town-nope
flip doors and paint other side-nope
sand bottom of a door ready to hang and then hang it-nope
make homemade Larabars-nope
but far from feeling defeated by what didn't get done 
I am thankful for what I was able to focus on

long story short, 
I have spent the day on the back porch with Sam
(for those who don't know, Sam is my nearly 16 year old dog)
the difference between him yesterday and today is unbelievable
he's had bad days before, but morning to evening today escalated to a whole new level

so I spent time gently washing him,
two plus hours brushing him
slowly petting him
helping him onto the porch, out of the rain
I've spent the day watching him breathe,
knowing, because of what I see physically, 
if he wakes up in the morning I need to make a difficult phone call to the vet
knowing that by this time tomorrow night,
barring a miracle,
Jonathan will have buried Bill's dog...
waiting on death is hard