empty promises 188/366

it rumbled 
and it grumbled
and it tumbled on and off in the distance all afternoon
but the storm making all the noise was offering an empty promise
except for a few sprinkles

there have been other promises made
and not kept 
in my lifetime
to me
and, I am ashamed to say, by me

some big
some small
some were a huge deal
some "piddling" in comparison
I optimistically look for the follow through every single time one is made

and crash, but mostly am not surprised, when one is broken
because it has happened often enough I kind of expect it 
and I have to fight, hard, against negative thoughts and feelings 
and feel foolish for believing
every. single. time.

it's an opportune time for the enemy to whisper some of his favorite lies;
"you are dumb, you should know better by now"
"you aren't a priority, never have been, never will be"
"you are unworthy"
"no one ever has nor ever will keep their promises to you"

I hear those words and I flinch, 
sometimes I agree, hold onto them and wallow in self pity
and "feel" like the father of lies is right
but before long truth rings louder than his lies, 
and when it does, I fight back with truth and remind him of who my Father is...

"See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are...Beloved, we are God's children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when He appears we shall be like Him, because we shall see Him as He is." From 1 John 3:1-2