His Presence

Reaching for his hand.
Listening for his voice.
Looking for his smile.
Wanting to be held.
Missing Bill's presence.

That is not how I am living all day every day.
(Except for the missing him.)
It is the moments I do those other things
that cause the greatest pain.
The deep, guttural, ugly cries originate there, away from his presence.

Reaching for His hand.
Listening for His voice.
Looking for Him.
Allowing Him to hold me.
Experiencing God's presence.

That is how I am living day to day.
I am intentional about not being consumed by "what is next",
I am intentional about living in the moment,
being thankful for what I have.
Deep peace, joy and praise originate there, in His presence.

"Oh give thanks to the Lord, for He is good;

    for His steadfast love endures forever!"

Psalm 118:1