celebrations and facing fear

today I wasn't sure what to expect 
and my body let me know I was nervous
I was heading to Hannah and Chloe's big birthday celebration 

I would be spending part of the day with people who are kind
but life has made them more a part of my past than my present or future
I was afraid of the awkwardness of seeing them without Bill by my side

as I walked up to the picnic shelter I noticed it was named:
William S Bxxxxx
part of my heart smiled, part of it ached

we, the Bondurant side of their family, arrived early to decorate
I noticed a penny on one of the picnic tables
and immediately thought "God sees me"

as I walked to the playground with Xavier 
I found a second penny
just in case I didn't get the first reminder

being together again 
turned out not at all awkward
we had a pleasant visit and a great afternoon of celebrating 

as things were coming to a close I found a third penny,
walked a few steps and found a dime
I kept walking, hoping it might turn into a trend

as I rode to Indy with Deborah and David afterward
another sign of God's faithfulness was brought to my attention by Abigail
there was a faint rainbow, most clearly seen in the cloud

sometimes we have to face darkness to see the beauty of the light
if I had given into my fear and stayed home this morning,
I would have regrets rather than blessings filling my mind and heart tonight

I close this day thankful for time with family and friends
thankful for visible reminders that God is faithful
and thankful that I am loved by a good Father

the bright spot just above the trees was the part of the rainbow we could see
yes, it was small, and it was faint,
but it was beautiful
and more than enough to remind me that God keeps His promises-
always