RLCA 2016 Day 2

I fully expected that my first time back at camp 

would be a stretching and growing experience

there is a mix of people I have served with for years here

they know what has been going on to keep me from camp

and there are brand new people to meet

who have no idea I have ever served 

Be Brave!

the anticipated tension of seeing some of my friends 

for the first time since Bill's death was over inflated

so far it has not been nearly as difficult as I thought it might be

Thank you Lord!

however,

I was not prepared for things like what happened this morning during worship 

a new staff member introduced themselves;

"My name is __________"

"I'm Donnette"

"Donnette Bondurant?"

"yes"

"oh, I saw your name on the faculty list."

so far, so good

"How do you fit into the Bondurant family?"

this is where it got awkward-

for me at least

"My husband was Greg's oldest brother."

"oh, okay"

and the conversation was over

for her 

in my head I have conversed with myself on and off all day

"Did she catch the 'was' "

"Does she know what that means?"

"I hope she doesn't think we got a divorce."

"Should I have said anything else?"

"How would I explain in the 30 seconds before worship began why I said 'was' ?"
"What if she comes up to me later in the week and wants to talk about Bill?"

I still don't know if I should avoid her the rest of the week,

initiate a conversation

or stand up in front of the whole group and explain why I cry at random times.

on the heels of that came a song that about sent me into an ugly crying fit

the speaker said something about answered prayer that drove me out the side door and on a walk by myself so I could pray, recover and carry on (there wasn't anything wrong with what he said, it simply hit a raw nerve)

After worship we gather for family time. Each dorm room is considered a family. I was composed and back in plenty of time to participate in that. Something new happened this morning. One of our campers asked if I was the grandmother of the other dorm mom. Staci is older than two of my children. We laughed, internally. Outwardly, so as not to embarrass this girl, we simply said "no, we are just friends". 

Camp is like a box of unmarked chocolates. 

You never know what you are going to get.

Sometimes it's your least favorite, other times it's pretty good.