the sound of silence

as loud as my house is when it is filled

or even partially filled

by my family and friends

this evening as I am home alone 

I am finding that silence can be more deafening

it isn't bad

and I need it,

I love people,

I love being around people,

but I recharge when I am in a quiet place by myself

and even though the clock is ticking

the refrigerator is humming

the air conditioner is kicking on and off

and the keys of the computer click as I type

I am amazed at how loud the lack of people sounds can be

I am reminded of two passages I memorized early in my walk with God

and I remember why I crave the silence, even when it is deafening

for most often

it is in the silence God speaks 

and I am challenged to look at who I am in His sight

"But the Lord said to Samuel, 'Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.' "

1 Samuel 16:7

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight." 

1 Peter 3:3&4

"Father, thank you for loving me and for making me Yours. Thank you for grace, for mercy, for peace, for hope, for comfort, for joy, for silence. Please, search me and know my heart. Cleanse, rebuke, correct, train, discipline and teach me so I can be who You created me to be. My desire is to honor, to please and to accurately reflect You. In Jesus' name, Amen"