I'm hit!

when you get hit in the chest
by a shot of grief out of nowhere
it hurts

it hurts your lungs,
it can take your breath away
it hurts your heart,
making it feel like an adult elephant is sitting on you
it hurts your head and thoughts
it can make your eyes leak
it can take your legs out from under you

yes, I know there is nothing wrong with mourning
yes, I know it is all part of the process
yes, I know deep pain is part of the price of loving deeply

and, I trust that God sees me
I trust that He cares that I hurt
I trust that He is good, all of the time 
I trust that He knows what He is doing 
I trust that I do not face anything by myself
I trust that He is making something beautiful out of my life
I trust that He provides every single thing I need when I need it

but tonight I am weary of the ambushes
I am ready for a rest from the battle 
so I stop striving 
I run to the One who is my heart's comforter, healer and shield
and I spend time with Kari Jobe celebrating being His...