I want to live like there's no tomorrow...

I thought I had a good handle on things, 
that I was "prepared" for Monday August 29, 2016 
since it hasn't gotten here yet, 
perhaps I am 
however, 
I was not ready last night
for the force of the flashback to Thursday evening, August 28, 2014

I was eight days out from knee surgery
trying to rest in a hospital room recliner
Bill was laying in a hospital bed,
admitted overnight for the first time in our marriage 
and even with the help of drugs wasn't getting much sleep
nurses were in and out carrying out doctor's orders
as we were trying to figure out what was going on with his body

I haven't read any of Bill's prayer journals 
but in the wee hours of this morning, 
after my ugly, ugly cry
I went to the library and pulled his last one from the shelf
it was time 

I spent three hours skimming through it

he was a consistent man, 
seeking to please God 
asking for wisdom and discernment
pleading with God for the needs of KCU to be met

the closer I got to August 29 
the more attention I paid to details
wondering if he had any clue 
that he would be leaving this earth 
what I found indicated he thought he would be here
he was a planner
thankfully he was prepared to meet his Maker at any time

today I am thinking about how every day 
begins like this page, 
blank 
there is a date,
and always will be until Jesus comes back and time as we know it is no more
but we never know when we will write our last entry
this is part of Bill's:

I praise Your mighty name for You are so good to me!
Help me to be strong in Your mighty power- you are so good to our family and I feel Your presence!!

just a few short hours after writing that
Bill was in His presence
no pain
no worries
no weariness
no distractions
until I get to go home this is one of my goals: