my Anchor holds

honestly, sometimes I feel like a broken record 
living without Bill in my life is a foreign concept,
I started dreaming of making a life with him when I was a HS freshman

we were together from the summer I turned 17 until I was 55
so even though he has been gone almost two years
sometimes I still find myself expecting him to come home any minute

occasionally I wonder if there is something seriously wrong with me-
and when I stop and think about it
I realize,
there is...
and there should be

For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother

and shall be joined to his wife

and the two shall become one flesh.

Ephesians 5:31

imagine being a whole, healthy person
and suddenly there is a terrible accident
and you lose half of your body

I have to remind myself periodically it's okay to not be "okay"

and hurting deeply is part of the price of loving deeply
I would rather have pain than be empty and/or numb 

I know
without a single doubt 
that God loves me and is in control

nothing comes into 
or leaves my life 
that He is not aware of

I may not understand
I may not agree,
but I choose to trust Him

God is faithful and kind.
God is my Comfort and strength.
God is my provider and protector.
God is my refuge, my hiding place and my fortress.
God never makes mistakes. 
God never fails. 
Never.