jack in the box

I have a confession to make:
I have boxes
you can't see them, 
but I definitely have them
fewer now than I had when I was younger
but while I was at the beach I discovered I have more boxes than I realized


big ones
little ones
medium sized ones
new ones
old ones
forgotten ones

in these boxes are things I don't want to deal with:
memories
fears
anger
pain
confusion
frustration

every once in awhile 
a lid comes off
and what's inside 
pops out suddenly 
like a jack in the box and startles me 
I don't like to be startled

my first reaction is defensive
sometimes I feverishly push down whatever has popped up
some things won't go back, so like it or not, I have to face them
the transition from being defensive (protecting myself)
to offensive (dealing with "it) is exhausting
and there seem to be a lot of lids popping open right now

so if you see me and I seem distracted
I probably am trying to push jack back into his box
or deal with an issue he unleashed when he popped up 

"God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble."

Psalm 46:1

does anyone else find this disturbing?