beware of Bears

you would think Winnie the Pooh,
the silly, chubby, cuddly old bear
would be safe. 
not for me.
not today.

as I was scrolling through my news feed,
catching up on what is going on in family and friends lives,
I came across this quote:

guess what happened...

yeah, it wasn't pretty
my heart retched
my eyes leaked
my gut roiled
and groaning from deep inside erupted

oh, how I miss Bill

once we became "us"
I never thought I would live without him
and I am living, truly living, not merely existing
family history indicated he would outlive me
and I think that is part of what deepens the shock

this afternoon as I head out to watch my guys practice soccer
I am thankful for emotions and private times to release them
I am also thankful for sunglasses that will hide my red eyes