this is us (but one of us is missing)

this was taken in April 2013 after Hannah's dance recital

I have been missing Bill more than usual lately

thoughts of him,

specific memories,

have been surfacing more frequently

and it makes my heart both glad and sad-

glad because I have the memories

sad that they are memories with no more to be made

I know it may sound weird 

but today it is almost like I can hear him whisper

"I love you"

as I sit in my debt free home

surrounded by creature comforts that are paid for

knowing there is money set aside so I can pay my bills

assured that I am financially taken care of until it is time to leave this world

as I look at pictures of our children and grandchildren

I am reminded of the joy of our family life

was it easy?

being totally honest, um, NO !

sometimes it was really hard-

like "I want to pull my hair (or yours) out" and,

"where do I go to resign, I am ready to be done!" hard

but given the opportunity,

I would definitely go back and do it all again

and not want to change much, if anything,

because that would change who I am, 

who we are, 

and who we are becoming...

and I am more than a little partial to "us"