"Cry Baby"
"wah, wah, wah, don't be such a cry baby!"
ever heard that or something similar?
from someone else or maybe as self talk?
ever said that to someone else because, well, they were being a cry baby
and you had heard about all you could stand
the next step, if they didn't shut it off, was to pummel them
what about this one
"you better stop that crying before I give you something to cry about!"
ever heard or said that or something like it?
I am guilty
of hearing them and taking them to heart
even when I didn't need to
I am guilty
of saying those words
because I couldn't see any reason for the tears
I understand that sometimes drama is the fuel,
and in that case perhaps those are appropriate statements,
but I also know that being conditioned to think crying is wrong isn't right
bottling tears
is like building steam in a pressure canner
there has to be a release or things can get dangerous and ugly
feeling like I am weak
wondering what defect there is in me
when the tears keep falling doesn't prevent their visits
Since Bill died 2 years, 4 months and 27 days ago
sometimes I get tired of hearing me cry!
...and think others must be tired of hearing about my tears
I have learned
that sometimes there is no "reason" for tears
but they come anyway
that bottling them only works for so long
that sometimes my eyes leak
and I have no control over the shut-off valve
and all of that is okay
knowing that my tears make a lot of people uncomfortable
but knowing that not crying makes me uncomfortable and miserable,
I have slowly adopted a new motto
"Cry, baby, cry"
because tears are simply part of the healing process***
***If you are crying 24/7, for days on end, with no relief, I recommend you get help-from a trusted friend, your minister, your doctor, please find someone safe to help ease them. Because while tears are a release and part of healing, I don't think living with them non-stop is healthy.***
ever heard that or something similar?
from someone else or maybe as self talk?
ever said that to someone else because, well, they were being a cry baby
and you had heard about all you could stand
the next step, if they didn't shut it off, was to pummel them
what about this one
"you better stop that crying before I give you something to cry about!"
ever heard or said that or something like it?
I am guilty
of hearing them and taking them to heart
even when I didn't need to
I am guilty
of saying those words
because I couldn't see any reason for the tears
I understand that sometimes drama is the fuel,
and in that case perhaps those are appropriate statements,
but I also know that being conditioned to think crying is wrong isn't right
bottling tears
is like building steam in a pressure canner
there has to be a release or things can get dangerous and ugly
feeling like I am weak
wondering what defect there is in me
when the tears keep falling doesn't prevent their visits
Since Bill died 2 years, 4 months and 27 days ago
sometimes I get tired of hearing me cry!
...and think others must be tired of hearing about my tears
I have learned
that sometimes there is no "reason" for tears
but they come anyway
that bottling them only works for so long
that sometimes my eyes leak
and I have no control over the shut-off valve
and all of that is okay
knowing that my tears make a lot of people uncomfortable
but knowing that not crying makes me uncomfortable and miserable,
I have slowly adopted a new motto
"Cry, baby, cry"
because tears are simply part of the healing process***
***If you are crying 24/7, for days on end, with no relief, I recommend you get help-from a trusted friend, your minister, your doctor, please find someone safe to help ease them. Because while tears are a release and part of healing, I don't think living with them non-stop is healthy.***
Catching up on your blog today!! It always lifts my spirit. As I read this post, I can relate to all your feelings. Just think how beautiful your home will look when your floors are done!! I understand your feelings of mixed emotions. As I am still trying to work on my basement renovation I have struggled with motivation here lately. I have always struggled this time of year but this year I feel like I have hit a brick wall. I am literally on a roller coaster with being so up one hour and so down the next. As I continue working and planning what I want to do next, I also worry that my kids will feel like I'm trying to change things and erase the presence of their dad. That is so not my intention and I pray they don't feel that way. Our home is 31 years old and I feel that this would have been something that we might have done together. The work I'm doing in the basement has been my dream for 31 years. I feel that by doing as much of the work myself as I can that I'm not just throwing money away. It is also very healing for me. It gives me a purpose and makes me proud of what I have been able to accomplish by myself with a little help from family. I am excited for both of us as we work towards our goals.The finished products will be refreshing!! Our accomplishment will give us strength that we can move forward. I feel our husbands are looking down, encouraging us and very proud of what we have done!!! Once again, I thank you for writing and sharing this blog with others. I pray you have a great day!!! God bless you!!!
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