forbidden fruit

a few months ago I got a taste,

well, just a nibble really,

of something I didn't even know I was hungry for
and I liked it
as a matter of fact, I liked it a whole lot

there's only one problem:
this thing,
it isn't for me,
at least not right now
not in the way I envisioned it to be fulfilled

the enemy dressed it up as something beautiful
and polished it so it shined
so desirable

so tantalizing and tasty
but when brought into full light, clearly forbidden

it's crazy how quickly something can consume you
some moments the craving is almost overpowering
my mind gets to racing 
way ahead of where it  should be
and takes me down roads that are not mine to take 

This situation has taught me valuable lessons about myself:
I need to slow down, way down, and breathe
I need to take every thought captive, not entertain and make excuses for them
I have to choose obedience to uncomfortable truth 

over feeding self gratifying feelings

I need to pray, 

pray some more

and not stop praying

I need to wait for God to fulfill this desire, if He chooses to, in His way, in His time

it never ends well for anyone when I rush ahead and do it my way

"Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." Psalm 27:14

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6