glad to begin again

Mid January 2020 is when it began. The motivation to walk everyday came from my doctor after he reviewed some blood work results with me. I purchased a fitbit as an accountability partner. And it worked. I started getting in a walk almost daily. It began as 30 minutes of cardio five times a week and grew into four miles almost every day of the month by the beginning of October. I had to purchase some new clothes because, for the first time in a very long time, my clothes were too big.

I don't know what happened. I don't remember what that first two weeks of October held, but slowly the walking routine, which should have picked up if anything during my favorite season of the year, became much less routine and more hit or miss. When Ron passed October 20th walking took a bigger hit. Walking the road of grief takes a lot of time and attention and energy, even when you aren't aware of it.

What had become a once daily habit became a once or twice a week oddity. I knew, even before I stepped on the scales a few days ago, that I was definitely headed the wrong way. You can't eat your feelings and not exercise without gaining. 

Yesterday, January 1, 2021 I determined to begin anew. And not for weight loss as much as for losing other things-like foggy brain, body aches and emotional fatigue. When I was walking daily those things had gradually dissipated. I feel them fully right now and I don't like it. I am the only one who can change it. And my FitBit has lost its power to hold me accountable.

A thought came to me yesterday when I walked. I followed through with it this afternoon after my walk. I drug two rubbermaid containers of teaching tools out of the closet this evening. See the box with gold stars on the side in the bottom container? That's what I was searching for. I keep sticky gold stars inside of it for when I read *Max Lucado's children's book "You are Special"* to a group. The wooden box to the left of it has gray dots in it which are also a prop for that book. 

I put up a new calendar yesterday.

Tonight I placed two stars on it.

Meet my new accountability partners:

*If you aren't familiar with the book I highly suggest purchasing a copy and reading it. More than once. It is a book I've made sure each of my children own. It is a book I purchase as gifts. The message is as powerful for adults as it is children. Disclaimer concerning the stars: I was actually hoping to find heart stickers in the totes, but there weren't any. I'm using stars because that's what I have the most of.